Uniquely Grateful

I happen to view my neurodivergence in a positive light. Much more so than the medical model holds space for. Like everything else, it has pros and cons. However, ultimately, I find there’s a lot to be grateful for when it comes to being uniquely wired.

Not everyone celebrates Thanksgiving, but gratitude never goes out of season. So for this Thanksgiving, here are 3 things I’m most grateful for when it comes to being uniquely wired:

1. Questioning questionable quirks (a.k.a. expanded humanness)

A long time ago, I was walking outside with a friend. She bumped into someone else she knew. I’d never met this person. I don’t recall if I was introduced or not, but at some point, they were talking and my standing there seemed pointless. I thought I’d give them their space, since no one was talking to me anyway, and there were other things more interesting to me at the time than listening to two people talk about stuff that didn’t involve me. I walked away on my own without saying anything and looked at pretty things in store windows. I did not intend anything negative towards anyone.

Afterwards, my friend expressed being mad that I had walked away. I could’ve been upset that they weren’t talking to me and expected me to stand there like a captive audience, but I wasn’t. Genuinely flummoxed, I asked her why, which seemed to confuse her further as well. She couldn’t quite explain it, other than that is what’s expected and it showed interest. The back and forth continued like this. Me asking things like “You want me to stand there and act interested when I’m not, while no one is talking to me? Why?”. The more I dug in, the less sense it made. My views have changed since this happened years ago but at the time, it became comical.

Apparently, some of these random social expectations don’t even make sense to the people who expect them. While most people need social graces to some extent, one of the things I appreciate most about being uniquely wired is the different perspective it brings to everyday aspects of life that are taken for granted and rarely questioned. We start to see and question how people relate, as well as all the programming. We expand the register and vocabulary on what it means to be human, and introduce a freedom from doing things just because that’s how they’ve been done before. It may deflate egos on occasion but in my opinion, that’s not necessarily a negative thing.

2. Truth and trueness

In a world overflowing with illusions and untruths, the reflexive, beautiful honesty of people on the spectrum is, to me, refreshing and needed. There’s an integrity that can be hard to find.

For the most part, in my opinion (as always, there are exceptions), this sincerity extends to relationships in the form of trueness, as in being a true friend or companion. You won’t get the “busy” excuse because it’s b.s. When you are cared about, you are truly cared about. If you ask an opinion, you will get an honest opinion or answer. Of course there’s something to be said for how things are stated (not just what is stated), but without honesty, there can be no trust. 

3. Interesting intuition/downloads

I don’t think there’s any scientific research to what I’m about to say. It’s my own observation. A lot of people I have encountered on the spectrum have uncanny intuition, knowing (a.k.a. claircognizance), and seem to be able to sense if someone is upset about something. Not always and maybe not to the extent that they know what’s causing the upset, but often the upset can be felt. It seems to come with the territory of feeling more in general. In a society where most people repress emotions and vulnerability, this radar-like sense of other peoples’ upsets can serve an interesting purpose, if you allow it to be healing. I think it’s fascinating and a frontier to be further explored in our lived experiences.

This holiday season, I hope you’ll reflect on your favorite things about your one-of-a-kind wiring.

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